Notes App Diaries Three

permission to slow down

I’m sitting here on my living room floor drinking peppermint tea and listening to the Little Women soundtrack. Beautiful soundtrack if you’re into changing the course of your day for the better. There is nothing better than having nothing on my schedule. There is nothing better than lighting a brand new candle for the first time. There is nothing better than opening up a crisp new journal and writing down that very first word.

Troy gets candle fomo. Or maybe I mean he is just sentimental about it. He gets sad as the candle burns and dies down. He loves the scent or he loves the memory of the candle and wants it to last forever. I think it is sweet and also hilarious. I will catch him blowing it out after like 20 minutes. When I am looking away, maybe switching it out with another. We have candle wars because of this. It is truly because he is such a sentimental guy. “Someone bought us that candle” or “We bought that together on our trip so let’s save it for special time.” It is truly so sweet and I am realizing he is like this in a lot of ways. He wants to savor every moment.

I want to savor moments. It is January 16th and I just opened up my crisp new journal for the first time this year. I have been pretty uninspired since December 18th. I’ve just been uninterested in tapping into anything creative or mind consuming. I have been watching a lot of movies, reading a little, and making lots of meals instead. I haven’t felt like myself since the Holidays. I felt guilty about it for a little because last year felt so insanely busy.

I think when I take time to slow down, it feels alarming for me. I am choosing to learn from this mindset, because it can’t be a great one. Turns out, it is so important for me to do this right now. I think it is because I just feel good when I create. I feel like myself, and maybe sometimes it is a high I get that makes me feel like I am doing enough…

My best work happens when it is natural and wanted. When it is rested and not rushed. Something I want for myself this year is to learn how to be okay with myself when I am doing nothing. I almost deleted that sentence out of fear that you would judge me, but it is time to set that goal for my life. Life is so fragile. I think it is so great to feel accomplished, achieved, and have highly creative seasons, but without the guilt of taking a break. We need it and it is hard to slow down. In the current season I am in, I am being forced to slow down in a way that is teaching me so much. We are naturally needing it during the cold.

My dear friend Molly (you can find her beautiful Substack here) sent me this article, How To Plan Your Year. I chose write through the reflection portion of it. It really inspired me to put my last year in perspective and to think a little bit about the year ahead. I want to share some of those things with you.

What Challenged Me in 2025

In 2025 I feel like I made more choices, than I wanted to, that felt difficult. Creatively I made a lot of choices that helped me shape my business and myself as an artist. I became less afraid to have honest conversations. I became less afraid to say no and/or make adjustments that didn’t feel right. I became more honest with people about my dreams as a musician. That part felt the most intimidating.

I felt more vocal about what I wanted to create. For example, I trusted my gut with song choices, lyrics, designs, and my overall sound. I made specific choices about people I created with in both my music and my floral design worlds. Biggest adjustment was saying no to work that didn’t serve me or my family. Bigger adjustment was saying no, when necessary, just like in general. Looking back I remember it bringing up a lot of really hard emotions that were embarrassing to see for myself, but so helpful to my mental health.

I took more space to tap into my grief. I became more open and vulnerable about my loss and what my family went through together. More vulnerable about my favorite memories and the moments that I need to hold onto out loud.

This felt vulnerable for some many reasons. I think anytime I posted anything remotely vulnerable about my loss, I would immediately spiral for like an hour after. but, I did it because I didn’t want to hide anymore. I couldn’t just pretend that my entire life was perfect by showing and sharing only curated things about it. I also shared a lot of that too. You can do both and I’ve talked a lot about that this year.

Five Hobbies That Made Me Happy

1. Substack. I love this platform and it has become my favorite creative outlet.

2. Pilates. I am able to escape life for a second. It has been a great way to stretch, strengthen, and relax during the week.

3. Walking. It is so good for you. I love being outside. I love walking with a friend. It improves my mental health every time.

4. Antiquing. I spent a lot of time doing this over the year. It expands my creativity. It is perfect for intentional gift giving. It has made my home feel uniquely special and honestly a lot more affordable than buying and ordering everything online.

5. Mood Board Collages. This became a fun hobby for me throughout the month. It kind of weirdly sets me up for inspiration. It also manifests ideas. I will see something and then see it somewhere else and think, “wow that is crazy I just put that on my mood board yesterday.”

It really puts ideas into my head in advance, so I notice things differently and don’t run into so much decision fatigue. When it is time to plan an event, decorate a room, put together an outfit, or choose creative direction for my music releases, I feel inspired and have some sort of idea of my direction.

My Three Words for 2026

Expansion, Confidence, Vulnerability

What I’m Letting Go Of in 2026

The belief that productivity is the same thing as worth. Guilt around seasons of quiet

The urge to explain my rest. The urge to explain my “no”

Rushing decisions out of fear. Rushing responses out of fear.

So, I am actually reading back through this today, on January 28th, and still want to share these thoughts with you. It has been a difficult January for so many people in this world. There is so much sadness happening around us and in Nashville specifically, we have had such a devastating storm that truly changed so many peoples lives. I’ve been thinking so much about everything.

.To close…doing “nothing” is doing something. And right now we are in a season of wintering. If you’re feeling behind, experiencing changes, loss, disappointed, uninspired, angry, or feeling oddddddly still this winter, maybe this is the permission you need to rest. To light a candle and savor it. To write one or two words down. Resting counts. The first word always counts. We’ll always come back to it when we can.

If you made it this far, I’d love to share a small treat! My next single, Both Sides, comes out on February 13th and is available for Pre-Save here.

I can’t wait to share this song with you! It starts the year out with the more energetic side of my upcoming album and really sets the tone for the overall mood of the album. More coming soon!

Today, I am going to reset.

Love,
Abby Jane